Welcome to a dystopian society where (almost) everyone has access to video that can be piped directly into your brain. Of course, as with all futuristic societies, there are those who take shiny pieces of technology and use them in ways not intended by the manufacturer. In this case, people are making sex sims-all the kinky, dirty, hot and wrong porn you ever wanted to try, all viewed from the comfort of your brain.
Upload starts with introducing us to Cassandra, who is played by Eva Angelina, a futuristic cop/agent. One of her higher-ups (played by director Eli Cross!) is interrogating her about her and her partner’s (Derrick Pierce) involvement in uploading a dangerous virus, ‘Enigma’ to the sim world, which is supposed to destroy everything. A series of flashbacks begin, in which we learn more about Cassandra and Michael, her partner, as well as Tesla (Hillary Scott), a hacker and maker of wonderfully dirty sims.
There are 12 sex scenes total in this film, and so many different types of sex and kink that I don’t even know where to begin describing them. There are strapons, anal, medical play, some light-ish BDSM, gangbangs, and lots of blowjobs and facials.
There’s a threesome with Eva, Evan Stone, and Sandra Romain that was rather delicious and included oral for everyone, strap-ons, and lots of anal sex. Evan Stone is his normal epic self, and is disturbingly believable as a futuristic pimp. The sex is a bit rough in this scene, but I found Sandra’s constant dirty talk and sex noises to be a bit of a turn off. This is also Eva’s first double penetration on cam, and she gets mad props from me for also doing a DP scene with a gigantic strapon cock and a real one. *impressed*
I had expected more BDSM to be portrayed in this DVD, given some of the actors appear regularly on kink.com. The only scene that I felt was supposed to be ‘hardcore BDSM’ was the scene with a couple ‘breaking’ an undercover agent and it quite frankly annoyed me. The scene starts with the man using a crop on the agent’s ass and thighs and she’s crying and screaming at every swat. I have to admit that my first thought was “Wow. He’s not even hitting her that hard. I wouldn’t want to play with her. It wouldn’t be any fun!” Admittedly, I am a bit of an evil bastard. The scene then moves to some PIV sex, large plug insertions and some DP with the toy while the agent gives the domme (the yummy Adrianna Nicole) oral sex. There’s some face slapping, spanking and breath play/choking as well. Not especially hardcore, and rather disappointing, sadly.
My two favourite scenes in ‘Upload’ are the scene between Derrick Pierce and his character’s girlfriend. Their dynamic is really sweet, and the sex manages to be ridiculously hot while remaining mostly vanilla. Derrick spends a decent amount time fingering and going down on her, which is something that I find doesn’t happen often enough in mainstream porn for my liking, before there is lots of enthusiastic sex. The lighting in this scene is also a very romantic golden glow that reminds me of candle or fire light. They really do come off as a couple, and I have definitely re-watched this a few times.
The other scene I really enjoyed also included Derrick, only this was a threesome. By the way, if you’re sensing a theme with all the Derrick love, well, he’s one of my favourite porn actors, and is also just damn hot. Now, this threesome is a ‘sim’, and is shot in a film noir style that brings to mind ‘The Maltese Falcon’ and Dick Tracy. The outfits are perfect 50s pin up style, and I absolutely adore the fact that the director went far enough to get a vintage 50s vibrator to use in this scene! There’s lots of dirty talk and both women seem really into all the anal sex in this scene. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a man in a nice suit and fedora and a girl who knows how to rock the pin up girl look.
I loved that there was (mostly) an actual plot to this movie! It was occasionally hard to follow, as the porn did interrupt it (I defy you to watch a 16 person orgy and not be slightly distracted afterwards), but if you watch the two bonus discs, there is plenty of extra information about the world Eli Cross created. I recommend checking out the bonus discs if you’re having trouble following along! Or even if you’re not. The extra features I found to be really interesting. I loved the ‘behind the scenes’ look into making an epic porn movie like ‘Upload’, and some of the bonuses were hilarious, especially the Sock Puppet spoof of the film and outtakes.
You can tell that there was a decent budget for this movie-it’s some of the most beautifully filmed porn I have ever seen, and is definitely up there with several recent mainstream films. The costumes are decent-everything from sexy suits for the agents and ‘good guys’, to lots of fishnets and cyberpunk-esque outfits, to 50s pin up. There are several amazing CGI effects, including a fight scene that I really enjoyed, and an X ray vision scanner that made my inner medical geek ridiculously happy.
My main complaints about ‘Upload’ are that some of the scenes seem too long, especially the gangbang and the hell orgy scene. After the 5th blowjob, I ended up fast forwarding. Even someone as orally fixated as myself can end up getting bored! The audio does have some wonkyness, and you’ll want to have the remote close by so you can adjust the sound levels between sex scenes and the rest of the movie. Also, I found the lack of condoms to be a bit distracting, but that may just be because I’m a big fan of safer sex. Those really are the only issues I had with this film. It’s 4 amazing discs of HD porn, and I wish I had the option of a sim chip so I could get in on the action!
I give it 4 futuristic paws up out of 5!
 DVD by Sex Z Pictures
Cast: Julie Night, Delilah Strong, Eva Angelina, Shannon Kelly
Director: Eli Cross |
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| This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. | ||
This product was provided by Eden Fantasys to Pixelated Toys for free in exchange for an honest review. I don’t receive compensation for my reviews, unless you decide to purchase something using an affiliate link.
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