Pixelated Toys

Move over, Pure Wand. There’s a new g-spot kid in town. – Jopen’s Key Comet G review

I’ve not been a fan of Jopen before now. I know, blasphemy. But the Vanity line was completely done in a neon fushica purple with no variation, and the Intensity was pink and both were out of my price range. With the Key line, Jopen’s toned down their ‘all pink all the time’ stance, and lowered the prices. While the new line is still ‘luxury’, it’s much more affordable, and they come in more colours now (Pink, purple, teal, and an awesome shade of blue.).

Eden sent me the Key Comet G by Jopen to review, and I was utterly thrilled. I’d been lusting after it ever since I caught a press release for the line, because it looked like it would make my g-spot happy, and I was so very right. By now, I’m pretty sure everyone has compared this to the Pure Wand, and guess what? I’m going to do it too. Don’t worry, Pure Wand, I still love you. I’m just have a bit of a dirty affair with the G Wand. I’ll come back to you, really! What we have, it’s *real*.

The differences between the Comet G and Pure Wand are fairly noticeable. The Comet G is made of glass, with the lower 2/3rds of the shaft dipped in silicone. The handle has a small silver medallion stuck to one side of the handle’s grip. The shape of the Comet G is more of a ‘J’, rather than the Pure Wand’s semi-circle. There’s also a huge weight difference between the two. Stainless steel is a lot heavier then glass and silicone. Also, the Pure Wand tapers dramatically after the balls on either end. The Comet G’s shaft is thicker overall, and I actually like it a bit better for that reason. I tend to clench really hard when I orgasm, and with the Pure Wand it’s almost uncomfortable to do that because there’s so little to

Just because it’s being compared to the Pure Wand doesn’t mean this toy isn’t awesome in it’s own right. I love the silicone. It’s got a bit of drag, so I usually put some water based lube on it before I use it. The drag to the silicone does mean that the bulb will feel a bit larger than it is. There’s also a ridge running down the side of the toy, but I didn’t find the texture to be really noticeable while I was using it. For me, it’s decorative, rather than functional. But if you’re really sensitive to texture, this may not be for you. I do love that the ridges start in the glass and are continued into the silicone…it’s a unique touch and makes the piece look more finished.

The Comet G isn’t a huge toy. The end measures 1.5 inches, which is the same as the Pure Wand’s larger ball. End to end it’s about 8 inches, which isn’t that long, either. The length is one of the few places I have an issue with the Comet G, though. I have short arms (I’d love for you to think of me as a T-Rex, but with multicoloured hair, freckles, and cleavage that doesn’t stop for days), and chronic pain/occasional mobility issues. That means there’s going to be days I’m not going to be able to use this on myself to thrust, as the short length means I have to stretch my arms or twist in a way that’s going to make me hurt worse or in new ways. Of course, there’s always the option to delegate to my mate, and I have taken advantage of willing partners before. Just be clear in your communication with your partner when they’re using a toy on you! Angles change, and with a harder toy like the Comet G, accidentally thrusting too hard or hitting the wrong place is possible.

So far, my favourite way to get off with the Comet G has been to sit down at my computer desk chair with the head of the toy inside me and use a vibrator on my clit at the same time. I can rock in the chair to change the angle of the toy on my g-spot, and the constant pressure is amazing. It makes it easier on me, because again, T-Rex arms, and can tweak my wrist or shoulder sometimes to jack off using the handle of this toy.

Cleaning is a bit different with this toy than a straight up silicone or glass toy. The silver emblem on the handle is glued on, and boiling or putting this toy through the dishwasher could wreck it. I suggest sticking with a 10% bleach solution or just washing with antibacterial soap and water.

I’m definitely a fan of the Key Comet G. The design is sleek, the material combination unique, and I’m glad that Jopen is branching out!

Thanks, Eden, for providing this toy for free in exchange for a fair and honest review!

$62.99Key Comet G G-spot dildo by Jopen Material: Silicone Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

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Things that go owch in the night- Tantus Wham Bam Paddle Review

Are you looking for a new and unique toy to add to your toybox or bag? Is the masochist in your life giggling at the thought of almost everything you pull out? Sit down, and let me tell you why you need this paddle in your life.

You can read my full review here, and if you want to pick this paddle up for yourself, Eden is offering 25% off sitewide with the code ‘MAY12′!

$39.99Wham bam paddle Paddle by Tantus Material: Silicone Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

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PacMan wishes he was this awesome-Lovehoney’s Sqweel 2 Review

The Squeel 2 is a weird looking toy, there’s no getting around this, so I thought I’d get it out of the way at the start of this review. This is what you would get if an arcade game character, a water wheel, and a futuristic sex toy had a pink and white (or pink and black) baby. If you like your sex toys to be unique and look as though they’d be Tank Girl’s first choice for jacking off, this is definitely for you.

While I haven’t tried the original Sqweel, the Sqweel 2 packaging boasts that it has more power than the original, has 10 ‘tongues’ made of silicone rather than a porous material, and has ‘exciting flicker mode’. I’m glad that I’m review this and not the original, as a Sqweel with less power than this would make me a very sad and probably orgasm-less Pixel.

The sound of the Sqweel is a bit whiny. It’s also fairly loud, to the point that I’d want the bedroom door closed as well as music playing to cover the sound of it if I had to worry about housemates. When I’m just using it by myself, I grab my sound cancelling headphones and use either porn or music to drown out the whine. This may be because of the

There are variable speeds, 3 of them, and you are able to change the direction the Sqweel spins as well as activate a ‘flicker mode’. (Am I the only one who feels like this is sounds like a glitchy version of ‘stealth mode’? You’d be ninja-ing along, when all of a sudden, your camouflage flashes off, then on again?) I usually only use the third speed, and very rarely mess around with the flicker mode. There’s a pause in the flicking that just ends up annoying me, rather than getting me off. I also don’t ever change the direction of the tongues. It just feels weird and uncomfortable to me to have it rotating the opposite way.

The tongues are really pink. I don’t think my picture conveys just how violently, pepto pink they are. They’re silicone and have some seriously drag to them. It’s not as much drag as, say, kitty tongue, but you’re going to want to use a fair bit of lube with this to make your clit and labia not feel abused. I prefer to use a thicker lube with the Sqweel 2, and applied it to my clit and labia before I even turned on the toy. Sliquid Sassy worked well for me, but if you prefer a thinner lube, any water based one will do!

Cleaning is a bit of a pain in the butt. Lube and fluids get all over and in this thing, and having to do a thorough clean up after each use is a must. You have to break down the Sqweel to clean it, and wipe the case down really well because you’ll have spattered stuff all up in that. Luckily, opening the case is easy. You just slide the locking mechanism on the side, pop it apart, and pull out the rotating bit. You have to wipe the inside down, as it’s not sealed, and you don’t want to corrode the batteries by accident. (The batteries, by the way, are 3 AAAs.) The tongue part can be cleaned the normal way-10% bleach, soap and water, or boiling.

I’ve heard horror stories of the Sqweel ripping stray pubes out, and I can neither confirm or deny this, as I like to keep things waxed or well trimmed, and wasn’t willing to go for the disco bush look just to try to dispel that particular sex toy urban myth. I didn’t have any issues with the tongues grabbing at my outer labia piercings either-I have 4, and they have curved barbells in them, for frame of reference.

This doesn’t feel like oral sex to me, but then, I don’t feel like anything can actually compare to having your partner going down on you. Sex toys ARE NOT replacements for humans. Seriously. They’re not your ‘battery operated boyfriend’ or ‘teehee, going to replace hubby’, they’re toys. (Sorry, pet peeve!) That being said, it does feel really good. I was honestly a bit shocked that I was able to orgasm from using the Sqweel, as I’m not normally able to orgasm from oral sex. I need either penetration or vibration to get off.

When I use a vibrator, I tend to press it against my clit, and the pressure seems to help get me off faster. With the Sqweel, I can’t do that. If I press it against me too hard, it makes the engine whine and slow down, which is the exact opposite of what I want it to do. However, the sensations from the tongues against my clit were fast/strong enough to

I offered to try this out on my boyfriend’s cock, but he took one took at the tongues spinning and started laughing hysterically, so you’ll have to go elsewhere to find a male perspective on the Sqweel, sorry.

Overall, this is a cool toy to add to your collection. Sure, it’s not going to work for everyone, but not all toys do. If you’re looking for something that’s sorta similar to oral sex, you can try this out, but I maintain that it’s not the same. It does, however, feel fucking awesome in it’s own way.

Thanks, Lovehoney, for providing this toy in exchange for a fair and honest review!

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*insert DNA pun here*- Aneros Helix review

It’s been far too long since I had a new review on my site that focused on a toy for males and sexshop.netwas awesome and sent me the Aneros Helix to review. Luckily, my mate/boyfriend/fiance, BloodHound, likes occasional anal play, so was willing to help test this toy out for me, report back, and help with the review.

Aneros is known for their line of male prostate toys. Most of their line consists of sleek white toys that look vaguely clinical, with one or two forays into coloured toys. They have also recently made a toy for female bodies, the Evi.

The Aneros Helix is a butt plug that is shaped specifically for prostate massage. The main part of the plug is curved slightly upwards, and the shape of it reminds me of a finger, with the different bulges echoing the shape of knuckles. So, it stands to reason that shape should work pretty well for prostate massage. The taper to the toy is the opposite of what I normally see in anal toys, though. This starts larger, and then tapers into a slim neck.

The helix is 4 1/2″ long, with 4″ of that being insertable. It is 3″ in circumference, so slightly less than 1″ in diameter.
The material is hard plastic, smooth to the touch, and has no seams that I can see or feel. If you’re used to squishier toy like silicone or some other material, this is going to feel bigger than a toy of similar girth as there is no give to it at all. Because it’s hard plastic, you can use any type of lube you want with it (silicone, water, or oil based), and cleaning is also simple. A toy cleaner, soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution will all work. Don’t boil this toy! You’ll wreck the toy and quite possibly your pot, and scraping melted sex toy off the bottom of a pot will just ruin your day.

The base of the toy is a bit different looking. It has two curved tabs that The p-tab (perineum tab) extends horizontally from the toy’s base and curves up to apply pressure on the perineum. My fiance loves perineum pressure/massage during handjobs/blowjobs, so really liked this part of the design. He says that it can get a little annoying during really long sessions, as the rubbing is more pinpoint than a finger would be. I’m not really thrilled with the base, as it feels a bit flimsy to me, and I’m worried that it may break at some point. So far, it seems sturdy enough, but I would have been happier with slightly thicker arms on the base.

Aneros has some awesome packaging. The box looks almost like a book, and has an outer sleeve holding it together. The scarlet box closes with a magnetic closure, which I really like a lot better than traditional (and cheap looking) sex toy packaging. The massager itself sits in an inner tray if you like to keep toy packaging, tucking this away on a bookshelf would be an excellent way to store your Helix. I didn’t keep my box, as it’s a bit bulkier than I would like, and instead, it’s just tucked into one of my storage drawers.

There’s definitely a bit of a learning curve with this prostate massager. When you clench around the toy, your body pulls it a bit deeper into you, and this causes the body of the Helix to rub against the prostate. In theory, you can have an orgasm from just this sort of repetitive prostate stimulation, without ever having your cock touched. This may not work for everyone, though, so don’t be upset if you don’t have hands free orgasms from this toy. Every body is different, and some just may not like having their prostate messed with as much as the next person. Bloodhound wasn’t able to, and instead he liked this toy a lot better as an added bonus during handjobs, blowjobs, or sex. He definitely had stronger orgasms when he used it, and I noticed that there was a lot more cum to clean up afterwards (Grab a towel if you’re experimenting with prostate massage, just in case. I talked to a few other male friends who are into this, and several of them also said that they came a lot more when they added anal play to their orgasms.).

Overall, this is a great toy if you like prostate massage, are willing to spend a bit of time learning to use it, and prefer your anal toys to be made of really firm material. We give it 4 out of 5 paws up, with the one star removed for how the base is shaped.

Thank you to sexshop.net for sending us this toy for free in exchange for an honest review!

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Lelo’s Flickering Touch Massage Oil in Spicy Clove & Amber

I have a massage oil addiction. Sure, I have the excuse that my partner has really dry skin and loves massages. And that I’m an amateur masseuse. But I’m always on the look out for my new ‘best massage oil ever’, and there are at least a dozen bottles of various brands and scents in my house at any one time. Adultsensations.com sent me Lelo’s Flickering Massage Oil to review, and I was hoping to have yet another oil to fall in love with!

Lelo is a fairly well known brand of luxury sex toy makers. While I don’t currently own any of their toys, I’ve heard good things about several of their toys, especially the Ella. I had hoped that the quality would also translate over into their massage oils, and I was in luck!

The packaging for the Flickering Touch oil was lovely. The box was black, with elegant embossed writing on it. I love minimalistic looking packaging, and this was gorgeous and very classy looking. There isn’t anything on the box that would make this ‘inappropriate’ (read as: screams “I bought this from a sex toy shop”) to give to someone at a wedding shower or as a gift in public. The bottle was nestled securely inside the box, and I didn’t have any issues with it leaking during transport. I suppose you could keep the box to store your oil in, but I think the bottle is lovely and looks pretty sitting out, so I recycled mine instead.

The bottle is really pretty. To me it looks a lot like a higher end perfume bottle, and I keep mine out, and it definitely doesn’t look out of place beside my perfume collection. It’s black glass, and the writing is gold paint, which stands out nicely. The top of the bottle is interesting looking. The orange ‘lid’ is a hard plastic or possibly acrylic circle. The colour changes depending on the scent of the massage oil. It has to be pulled off in order for the pump dispenser to be pushed, so you don’t accidentally get massage oil all over everything.

The pump dispenser works well. I didn’t feel as though I got too much oil per pump, and I needed about two pumps of oil to get enough for a decently slick back massage. The oil is a very light and (as oil tends to be) is very runny. Be careful pouring this onto your partner’s back, as it may decide not to pool conveniently and run over their sides. It will stain fabric, so putting down an old towel before you start your massage will keep you from worrying about ruining your sheets or blanket.

The oil lasts a decent amount of time, but I found that the initial few minutes of use left my hands feeling slightly sticky or gummy. Once I worked past that, it was smooth and slick, and my hands glided over my partners skin without any issues. It also does take a bit of time for the oil to sink in, so this isn’t the oil to grab if you just want to do a quick massage and then throw some clothes on. Take your time and enjoy this one!

The ingredient list is short and full of things I recognize:
Apricot kernel oil, grape seed oil, jojoba oil, perfume There are also tiny flakes of 24K gold in the oil! So, if you are sensitive to any of the natural oils listed or have a sensitivity to gold, I would suggest you avoid this massage oil and find some other brand.

The scent of this oil is Spicy Clove and Amber, and I really like it. Amber has always been one of my favourite scents-it’s the main note in my signature perfume oil that I always wear, and I even have tiny boxes of amber resin in my clothing drawers to softly scent my clothes! The amber in this oil isn’t as strong as I would like, and it’s a soft, almost powder-y note. The clove is the stronger of the two, and it’s sweet and warm, but not overpowering. This oil isn’t going to leave you smelling like a spice shop or baking cookies, instead it’s a soft and sweet scent that clings closely to your skin.

The gold flecks are something I’ve never seen before in a massage oil, and I’m honestly not sure what I think of it. While they don’t leave skin looking like you were attacked bya disco ball or a Twilight vampire, there is definitely a glow/shimmer left behind after a massage. My boyfriend wants nothing to do with this lotion, and has threatened to not use it on me unless I let him use gloves during the massage so he wouldn’t be ‘all sparkly’. (We both consider glitter to be a hard limit.) I haven’t noticed much transfer from skin to clothing or bedding, but I’m still not about to get dressed immediately after a massage with this or go roll around naked in bed.

While I like the consistency and the smell of Lelo’s Flickering Massage Oil, I’d be a bit hesitant to replace this bottle when I run out, due to cost. I’d be much happier if this came without the gold flakes/spanglies and had a lower price as a result. That being said, it’s a great item if you want a luxury massage oil, like the bottle, or just want to splurge!

Thank you, Adultsensations, for sending me this massage oil for free in exchange for a fair and honest review!

If you want to buy this oil and live in Canada, check out Adultsensations.ca! They have this oil in stock, as well as a great variety of other products.

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Nananananananana….BATCOCK! – A review of Vixen’s Leoweenie!

When you are a sex toy company that comes out with an orange dildo, you have my attention. When you come out with an orange dildo that is body safe and has freaking BATS all over it, though… Not only do you have my attention, but also my love, promises of undying affection, and all the flailing fangirl enthusiasm a former goth can muster. This translates to lots, but I’m too cool to show it. That, and if I get too excited I’ll overheat, and then my eyeliner runs.

The Vixen Leoweenie is a special edition of their Leo dildo, which normally comes in purple and black. It’s a pretty awesome shade of orange. Not quite a ‘fake Halloween pumpkin’ shade, but it’s not a neon colour either. Inside the dildo, there are a bunch of small black bats, each around an inch long. Depending on where the bats are in the silicone, some of them may look more grey than black. Mine had 7 bats, most of which were perfectly in silhouette, and one or two were on a slight angle. The Leoweenies are hand made, so how many bats you get and their placement is going to vary. The base to the Leo is a suction cup, and it sticks really well. I stuck it to the side of my shower, you know, like you do, and it stayed there for about an hour before losing it’s grip.

The shaft is almost entirely smooth, with some subtly raised pieces that remind me of melted wax dripping down a candle. The head is more realistic, with a pronounced corneal ridge, slit, and foreskin wrinkles. I don’t care for hyper-realistic toys for the most part, but this is just the right combination of realistic and artistic for me. There’s an upward curve to the shaft, which means the head will rub against your g-spot or prostate during use. The head is larger and defined enough that there is a bit of a popping sensation when you pull the dildo all the way out.

The Leo isn’t a huge dildo. For me, it’s on the medium size, but then I’m a bit of a size queen. The length is 8 inches over, and 7 inches are insertable. The diameter is 1.75 inches, which I think is pretty reasonable for both anal and vaginal use, especially when you take into account the way Vixen’s silicone feels.

This toy has a lot of squish to it. Like…way more than what I am used to a ‘regular’ (not dual density) silicone. I can bend the shaft of the Leo completely in half, so it’s pretty bendy. It picks up lint like crazy, so unless you’re keeping it in the tube it came in or a ziplock bag, expect to have to wash this toy before and after you use it. There’s a fair amount of drag to this silicone as well, so you may want to use some water based lube with this. You should always use water based lubes with silicone toys unless you’re willing to take the chance of the silicone reacting badly to your toy. Cleaning options are varied and awesome. You can stick it in the dishwasher, clean it with a toy wipe, use a toy cleaner, and use antibacterial soap/water. To completely sterilize the you, you can boil it for 3-5 minutes or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution.

If you’re into pegging, I’d definitely recommend this as an intermediate sized toy. The angle is great for prostate stimulation, it’s got some squish to the silicone, and hey, if you’ve ever wanted to hum the Batman theme song while you’ve got someone bent over, this is going to give you a reason excuse reason to. The base is wide and sturdy and works well with strap on harnesses (I tried it in my RodeoHs, the Spareparts Joque and my Outlaw Leather Annie O), and the upward curve of the shaft means you don’t have a sagging strap on cock.

For vaginal play, the Leo is definitely the Baby Bear of cocks. It’s not too small, not too large, not too hard…well, you get the picture. The head of the toy and the textured details there rub against my g-spot when I use the toy for thrusting, but it’s not overly texture or annoying. For me, it isn’t firm enough to make me gush, but it’s still a really good and wet orgasm. The diameter is enough that I have something to clench around when I orgasm, and the base isn’t so big that it gets in the way of me using my Hitachi.

I’m a fan and I’m giving this 5 black nail polished paws up out of 5!

The Leoweenie colouring is a limited run, but Edens Fantasys and Shevibe both still have some in stock!

This toy was purchased with my own money, and all opinions in this review are my own. Affiliate links have been used.

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Tags: goth, goth sex toys, gothic, orange dildo, silicone, silicone cock, silicone dildo, Vixen Creations. Reviews,Sex Toys   Add a comment